Today was a rough day.
Not in the sense that anything grossly abnormal happened. I spent the day taking care of my two children - Gloria (almost 4) & Apollo (18 months). It's the only day they are both home with me, it was HOT, and our typically PNW home is without air conditioning.
To be honest, the morning was pretty enjoyable. We did a little art project, they ate their snacks and a little lunch. Apollo went down for his nap, Gloria negotiated watching a show before hers, etc etc.
Like I said, nothing abnormal. The only thing hard about it was me. My mentality. I was tired (my own fault) and convinced it was going to be a hard day with two hot and tired kids - all day I was waiting for disaster. The tantrums, the fights, the crying.
But it didn't come. Still, I had stressed myself out so much at the thought of it, I was doomed before I even began.
In the evening we decided to go outside and run in the sprinkler.
While we were outside I snapped the shot above. Instantly I felt my stress melt away. How lucky am I? I get to spend entire days with my children in a time in their lives when they need me every second.
Yes its demanding, and yes I'm tired. Yes I'm trying to stay healthy, get fit, start a business, be a good mom, a good wife, and still have time to enjoy it all. But I'm here, right now, and look at them! Running through a sprinkler having the time of their lives in OUR yard at OUR home, the beautiful sun beginning to set and I'm worried about one of them getting upset?
Comon, Lauren! This is it! This is the light that shines through at least once a day to remind us that its NOT that bad. Not even close. So sit back, smile, and try to burn this memory so you never forget it.
I think sometimes, as busy moms, the stress comes from just the anticipation of difficult situations. They do, inevitably, rear their heads at the most inopportune times, but we become so used to them that its hard to imagine any extended period of time without something making us want to scream.
Add that to basic life in the modern day and we are doomed to negativity.
But what if we decide not to be? What if we say, I'm going to find light every day - whatever that means. Literally, figuratively, or however else it seems to find me that day. Even if I have to dig it up.